Hello dear friends. I wanted to get your feedback on the book I was starting to write….the fiction one anyways (the other one will be nonfiction). I’d greatly appreciate your comments, suggestions, and anything else you want to tell me. You can even tell me that it is garbage. But if you are going to tell me that my work is garbage, please explain why and have something constructive to say to back it up. I take constructive criticism pretty well.
Fast forward X number of years and I am in the midst of reviving what I had started. However, this time, I am quipped with the experiences of actually having been through the brutal, soul crushing industry that we kitchen slaves have come to know as “kitchen life”. I think I will be able to make the kitchen industry scenes more realistic and dramatic now.
I would love everyone’s feedback on this excerpt. Forgive me that this is only a rough draft and VERY MUCH unedited. You may find loose ends here and there. There may or may not be grammatical errors (gasp). I will edit after the end of each chapter, and then again when the entire novel is complete. This is just me rambling and brainstorming.
The main character, Tiffany Hansel, has pretty much lived a spoiled princess life her entire life. Never did she think that her princess life would be taken from her. But that’s life. Being a Hansel meant being set for life, financially and socially. She always had everything handed to her. Her name alone opened doors and deserved ass kissing from everyone around her. With the bankruptcy of her family’s empire, her world comes crumbling down. Tiffany feels like her life just ended. She does not have the real world skills and street smarts to survive, can’t hold down a “real” job, and goes into depression.
Tiffany does some soul searching to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. She has always had a passion for food and decides that she wants to learn as much as she could about food and cooking. Becoming a cookbook author seemed promising, and she also wanted to explore other possibilities as well. She enrolls in culinary school. And from there on, her ventures in the culinary world begin. As her journey in the culinary world continues, she gets put through many situations that are deemed “beneath” her. That is where you will see humorous conflicts…..but with each experience comes growth. By the end of the book, she will be a completely different person than she was at the beginning of the story.
There is going to be a lot of food and cooking scenes in the story since I am writing it with the food loving audience in mind. Personally, I am a huge fan of “chick” material when it comes to movies and books. Therefore, I want to write as if I am writing for MYSELF (and the likes) as the reader. I am a huge sucker for stories with yummy food, smut, revenge, growth, and secrets. So you can expect to see these components in the story.
Sometimes I don’t have a title for my stories until I am done writing. I don’t have a title for this yet. I think I have already said too much. Well, here it is. Enjoy….
The time on my phone was showing 3:57. For the past two weeks, this would have been around the time I’d be finishing up everything at the second job that I had just been disgracingly been fired from since I lost the prominent title that I had to my name for the past eight years. I had been working my ass off at these last two places, and in positions that were far beneath what I was deserving….WORK!! Ick…Why does working suck so much? My name and resume alone gets me into the doors of almost any job I want. I was a Hansel, and a former VP of the illustrious Hansel Group. I’ve learned the hard way that when you’ve had a VP title to your name, people actually expect you to know how to do stuff. But God’s honest truth was, I did not know how to do squat. And if you don’t know how to do squat, employers are not likely to keep you around.
As a VP, I had a huge room to myself overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Dad used to call it Princess Tiffany’s little hideout. The hideout was used as a ME room. It’s where I came to hang out and do my daily tasks, -catching up with friends via Skype, watching movies, catching up on my reading, browsing around the net, watching the food channels, and drinking coffee. Dad never gave me any responsibilities and said that his little princess did not need to do anything. I was VP in name only. And that was good enough for me. I mean, how many other people have that advantage of being in a high position while not having to actually do anything at all? Anyone that had a problem with it was nothing but a hater. And so what if my salary was technically more of an allowance than an actual earned salary? Certain people (like Philip, who has worked in our accounting department for 20 years) would go out of their ways to give me shit about that, but obviously, they were just jealous.
Well, the life of being daddy’s VP princess ended six months ago. Today, instead of being in my luxurious hideout office, sipping coffee and catching up on TMZ, I was sitting alone at a Starbucks, unemployed and nowhere to go. I was on my laptop browsing through Facebook, too defeated to post or comment on anything. It was depressing me. Everyone was doing something meaningful and exciting with their lives, – Kelly, my college roommate just got accepted to law school. Paul, my BFF from elementary school, whom I haven’t seen or spoken to since his wedding four years ago, was about to become a father. Cathy, my friend from high school, whom I haven’t seen since high school, was traveling through South America on a missionary assignment, bringing hope and love to the poor souls and whatnot.
“We are not finding you to be a good fit for our company,” they said, just like the first company that had fired me. Well, screw them. Who do they think they are? Don’t they know who I am? I am Tiffany Hansel, former VP of The Hansel Group. HANSEL…the name anybody who is anybody in the business knew of. It’s the name that opened doors…the name I was proud to call mine. Who knew that this day would come when Tiffany Hansel would be degradingly fired again from one of the nobodies of the industry…a company whose yearly revenue isn’t even surmountable to The Hansel Group’s monthly or even weekly revenue. How dare they do this to Tiffany Hansel, former VP and heir of The Hansel Group empire?
It was around the peak of fall last year when our world fell apart right in front of our eyes. As the economy was starting to spiral downwards, so did the empire of the Hansels. According to dad, everyone saw it coming. Given the drastic economic condition that was starting to happen a couple years ago, I was soon to learn that we had been hanging by thread. But what did I know? I was never involved in any of the important meetings, had no idea of anything that was going on with anything. Dad never discussed business matters with me. I was stuck in my own little world for eight years during my time of being VP.
Dinner that evening got off to a great start. We had Chef Yoshi Tahnashi preparing the food. We usually only had private chefs come over for parties and get togethers, but everyone was craving sushi that night and wanted to have some quiet time alone in our backyard. California is so lovely during the fall. We wanted to be outside. And dad said he had something to tell us. But it was to wait until after dinner. Whenever dad had something serious to say, he started with feeding us an amazing meal. Putting us into foodgasmic comas was his way of softening us up. He knew that good eating made us happy. And he wanted us to be in good moods first whenever he had something not so pleasant to say. It was sort of a weird family quirk of ours.